Consumed

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An addict resides inside my head
She lies, still and dormant, you’d think she’s dead
She pulls the wool and blocks my stare
So cunning and baffling, I forget she’s there

She stuns me with her cloak of denial
My purest of intentions, turn black and vile
It matters not if you are the softest thing
She’ll drag you along, on a string

No part of you bothered to consider
She’ll blow you of for a higher bidder
For a more palatable flavour of the week
Passes you up as tongue-in-cheek

You try to love her – she tries to score
She leaves you bleeding on the floor
My power gone, I am all consumed
My body a shell, she keeps groomed

To seduce you and to get her way
I am insane, to think I have a say
She may be quite, but she is always awake
Waiting, whip in hand for my mistake

I tear through everything trying to run
I cry in a corner – what have I done?
The pain scars the faces of those I hold dear
Who were scorned by my reaction as I tore through in fear

Shaking my head, my hands cover my face
My mind beats me down, “you are a disgrace!”
Shamefully I glance back at all the debris
God please help! This is killing me!

2 thoughts on “Consumed

  1. I can feel the pain in your words. You are not alone in this. As much as your guilt makes you feel you are, that is simply not true. Trust in God. He knows every minute detail about your habits, and He loves you with the deepest of love. Trust Him.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Raw pain. You are sharing it with us here. I hope that helps to let it out. You matter. Very much. Keep fighting for you. Because you are not a disgrace. You are a hurting person with much beauty within you.

    Liked by 1 person

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