I have been listening to an incredible podcast series – Dharmapunx NYC. Otherwise known as Noah Levine – A buddist teacher and author. “As a counselor known for his philosophical alignment with Buddhism and punk ideology, he identifies his Buddhist beliefs and practices with both the Theravada and Mahayana traditions. He holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology” – Wikipedia definition. I just love that he is a recovering addict using both spiritual teachings and neuroscience.
His podcast series on attachment theories and how to deal with triggers has ended with my mind a bit blown, because I struggle to identify exactly what attachment style I have adopted. I know certain relationships trigger different attachment styles, but in those fundamental years of my childhood I am not sure exactly which one I adopted. I think it is between the avoidant and the disorganised, though I am prone to the anxious preoccupied or “love addict”, because of my hypervigilance and perfectionism. I feel like I can relate to everyone and, that I used each attachment style quite heavily at different junctions in my childhood.
He also talks about how to deal with triggers and to the dismay of my avoidant self. Not going to the ‘doughnut’ store and learning to abstain from ‘doughnuts’ while being in the presence of them, are two totally different things. I steer clear of the latter, just in case, when in actual fact, the growth and recovery comes from learning to sit with the feeling, while triggered, in the presence of a trigger, without running away and/or acting out.
I feel enlightened. I am grateful. It is this and a yoga class, which have kept me centred and grounded today.