I started in the financial program at the beginning of last week and have been obsessing about everything else since. I wanted a distraction from the shame on that subconscious level. I had all the tool and started to work the program, but I was doing it on my own. Things were shifting, but I was still feeling overwhelmed.
I reached out yesterday for the second time after joining. I had done some phone meetings, spoken to a woman who got me in touch with all of the resources and I played around a bit with possession consciousness and the energy was definitely shifting. I was listening at meetings and actively looking for a sponsor, with no luck. I listened to a woman last night talk about her investment properties and the yoga studio she had on one of them. She sounded awesome. I tried calling her earlier that day with no luck. She sent me a text after the meeting and we arranged a time to talk this morning.
She is now my sponsor and gave me a whole bunch of tools and apps to kick me off in this new program. She shared her strength, which gave me hope! I can be an under earner and recover from it – it didn’t feel like that at the beginning of last week. I was consumed by shame, where now I feel there is really light at the end of the tunnel. I also picked up my action partner yesterday. We call each other everyday and share and give one another feedback. Also we hold one another accountable for our actions.
I woke up this morning from a dream, which is great, I stopped having those for a while (Not enough REM sleep for the brain to start dreaming to repair itself and update storage) – I have a withdrawal headache. I gave up coffee yesterday. I did it as a kind of natural thing, not by “deciding”, but rather just not doing it. I thought my withdrawal headache was from this finance stuff (I thought, Wow, this is powerful), but it was just the coffee hahaha!
The obsession around my friend has left me, thank God. Some heavy emotions came up after yesterday’s meditation, which I am so grateful for, because I am back on track today. I am motivated and inspired and not just sitting in the shit anymore. I have started to take little steps towards the solution. I am excited, walking towards freedom from this!