I have had an interesting day. Role play at uni was fun. I got to pretend to be a lesbian, drug addict, who can’t focus on anything other than obsessive thinking around her girlfriend 🙂 hahaha – It was a good way of gauging how people actually feel about these things, before I just come out with it all. Thank goodness I am not obsessing about girlfriends anymore- this is all thanks to a program (or 5), which I haven’t really spoken too much about in this blog yet.
After coming into recovery just over 2 years ago, I have partaken in 5 different fellowships. Alcohol, drugs, sex, codependency and money. I have not followed the usual format of work one program and then move onto the next, or just work one program, make that your primary and stick to it. Instead I have worked 5 programs simultaneously, 2-3 actively at once, with the others ready to go, should I feel like I need a slightly different perspective, or more clarity. The benefit of this method, is I have been able to take what I need, from each, and leave the rest. The end result – A pretty kitted out toolkit, which may make the most complex of maintenance problems a little easier to fix.
We got locked out of the support house today, my clients and I. It was a bit of a frantic dash around to get a spare set of keys, before the agency closed and in the end it was a successful mission. Upon completion of my mission, my boss asked me if I would have time tomorrow to extend my shift. I checked my diary and saw that I had clients, but knew I could move them around to facilitate this. After calling around and leaving a few messages to rearrange my day, it dawned on me that tomorrow is only Friday and that I had just messaged everyone to shuffle my Saturday clients around – Hahaha Whoops!
A little damage control needed to be done. A few clients asked me if I was going nuts and I guess in the past I would have taken the whip out on myself over the mistake. Thanks to the tools I have picked up along the way, I was able to laugh about it (like normal people do). The 2 tools that I picked up, this week, have really helped my self esteem and arrested my need for validation from others.
- The first tool I picked up from I book I am reading, “Earn What You Deserve” – Jerrold Mundis. In the book it asks me to draw up a list of esteemable acts. I came up with 10, but I am sure more will come to me as time goes on:
What acts do I need to do to respect/admire me?
- Volunteer to help kids with disabilities, horse ride
- Smilling at strangers
- Being a role model for kids
- Engaging with close friends like family
- Calling both my grandmothers
- Taking the dog for a walk
- Talking to newcomers
- Enriching people’s lives
- Showing up for work
- Create a blog and share something everyday
2. The second tool, is to validate myself every time I do something (anything) – I picked this up from a speaker tape, which is a link available under the audio resources menu on this site:
“Hey! Good Job cleaning that dish Nicole! I’m proud of me! That’s more God’s success than mine.”
“Hey! Good Job writing this blog Nicole! I am proud of me! That’s more God’s success than mine.”
Crazy? Yes just a little, but I tried it and it works. I am just following suggestions and seeing what tools work for me. Recovery tastes a little sweeter and my life just gets better and better. So does the way I look at it 😉